An Observation Foisted Upon Me

“To impose (something or someone unwanted) upon another by coercion or trickery”

    Trust me, the guys a Bigly.

 (Bigly, is a word I use in order to describe genuine substance of character, integrity, wholesomeness, and courage beyond normalcy?  The word Bigly has nothing to do with physicality as far as I’m concerned; however there are many who fall into the Bigly category who also happen to have a large frame.   Rarely, if ever have I been able to justify categorizing a politician or an atheist as a Bigly).

Please make, and take note, Bigly is my word. You can’t challenge it, because I am its creator. If you have a problem with that, well then, the rest of what I am about to say will prove more than merely an extreme annoyance to even some of my most erstwhile readers; it may even cause a condition of pissed off (ness).

The place: Kalmenson & Kalmenson
(Inside a recording booth.)

The time: A workday in April

In conversation: da harv
Aka (Harvey Kalmenson), and one of the few I have assigned the earned moniker of Bigly.

It had been one of those non-stop busy mornings, beginning at 6:AM and carrying on without a break until 11:30AM. No less than twenty-five actors had come before me in an effort to be the one selected by one of the major automakers to be there national spokes person. For the winner it would be a dream come true.  For the others, its all part of a days work.  Auditioning for work is the commercial actors job. Winning the job is almost as giddy an experience as perhaps being a lottery winner.  No mistake…this is big stuff!  In any event this was a morning of very well known personalities showing up, one after another, as any journeyman actor is want to do, in an honest effort to secure work.

By and large I have found voice over actors, men and women, equally endowed with a sincere graciousness towards one another, as well as the folks like me, who carry the awesome responsibility of attempting to help put bread on their tables.  One and all, across the board, they know my feelings for them are equally as sincere. We’re sensitive people doing a sensitive job under implausible circumstances, even in the best of times.  This day’s call was what I refer to as being plaid; without ethnic, or narrow age range as a deliberation to consider as our voice casting specs. In addition, it was a call for an equal array of journeyman actors as well as those commonly categorized as celebrities.

Note: “Bigly” is a celebrity of long standing.

On this day” Bigly” was the last actor set to read during the morning auditions; usually the man was on a tight schedule, and though his car and driver were already parked directly in front of our building, with its motor running, it didn’t seem to dissuade the man from lingering. It turned out, he had something to say, and I was his choice as the designated listener. This was also an unusual occurrence for him, on days when he had to be in and out in a hurry. The fact is, “Bigly”, knew I would listen to all he had to say, but in return if I was in disagreement with his latest of life’s observations, then our roles would be reversed and he would dutifully become the listener.

  •  We never raised our voices above a normal conversational level, regardless of the degree of opposing positions being taken.  
  •  Although our politics were at different ends of the spectrum, our attitude towards each other was always respectful.  
  • Both of us were never afraid to display a great disenchantment, by and large for career politicians.

As I dashed down the hallway in an effort to remove the scripts from our bulletin board, and set up for the next job, scheduled to take place following the lunch break, my path was blocked by “Bigly”. Honestly, I had little time to spare, and was hoping he had already departed the building; to no avail; he began with a wry smile, and the special sparkle of almost constant emotion registered in his eyes.

Do you know why stupid people are stupid?  Because stupid people don’t know they are stupid.  Do you know where to find stupid people?  Everywhere you find people.  Newspaper journalists, television talking heads, people who raise dogs and chickens to fight, people who hurt kids, and of course…career politicians.

That was his side of the beginning of the end of my lunch break. What it all boiled down to was “Bigly’s” disappointment with the vast majority of people in general.

Why don’t people read anymore? I mean, really read things of consequence. It doesn’t have to be William Shakespeare, you know.

This subject matter wasn’t a first for either of us. “Yes”, I agreed. “As a matter of fact, I often spend a great many of my waking hours wondering whether the great Bard ever referred to any of his players as a “Dude”.

 That’s what got me started on my latest tirade in the first place. That last actor in before me, da harv, said thank you Dude, as he left the booth. I mean how do you stand it?

That was the end of our conversation. Nothing more need be said. We were on the same page. Just a slight shake of the head, and Bigly took leave.

When I was in grammar school, the universal credo was reading, writing, and arithmetic. Our parents established the social graces. The after school entertainment following the completion of homework was usually the school yard, until dark, followed by our favorite kid radio shows. You may have guessed, “Bigly”, and I shared the same foundations, though he ventured from across the pond.
One more thing and I’ll let you go. Both Bigly and I are capable of using the foulest of language. But it comes out mostly in private, never when children or women are around. That to takes us back to those early days of reading, writing, and arithmetic. Believe it or not, there was a time when a poor choice of words might have you removed from the classroom and on your way to the principal’s office.

And finally…when was the last time you heard a person referred to as being well read?

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