The Good and Bad Things About the Olympics

“Like what could possibly be bad about the Olympics?”
“Give me a break da harv. It’s been around even longer than you have!”

To be precise… you can’t really be precise. 
Some say the whole rigmarole began in 776 BC.
According to whatever Greek scribe you happen to read (sports reporting then was as cliché-filled as it is now) much of the outcome of the first Olympics was about a sketchy description of a naked guy named Coroebus, whose vocation was that of a low-end cook. (Rumor has it, not even the Roman soldiers would frequent his establishment.) 
Coroebus was the very first Olympic champion. He won the 192 meters race (210 yards).
The first advertising agency of the day (based in Illinois) was Fluffiest, Puff, & Exageratious. They went bankrupt following the race when it was discovered that the money they took in for TV air buys was for erroneous placement.
The hand-picked Czars of the Obamus Tribunal were quick to point out (after a shortened two-year investigation) that no criminal charges would be filed since Fluffiest, Puff, & Exageratioushad no way of knowing that the invention of television was still a few years down the road and not exactly what one would call “shovel ready.”
Besides, they also weren’t aware Coroebuswould be allowed to run in the nude. 
Although Coroebus was an instant hit, he bowed out of ensuing races because he wasn’t able to stand the pain of running. All Olympics were consequently put on hold until years later when, a German inventor named Kliener Schnitzel (in a small community in Philadelphia) invented the athletic supporter. The company subsequently moved to another small community (this time in California) known as Oakland.
With The Bad News Behind Us…
A few years have gone by and all is well and happening.
The 2012 Summer Olympics are upon us. Almost all human eyes and ears will be privy to the exploits of our planet’s greatest athletes – man and woman – as they join forces in the largest spectrum of sports presentation the world has seen to date.
And, the Kalmenson & Kalmenson team will be part of the presentation; albeit not as athletes, but as part of what makes this worldwide extravaganza possible: the commercials.
With less than one month before the first athlete steps onto the treasured soil of London’s Olympic Stadium, our Kalmenson & Kalmenson team is proud to report that we have once again been given a variety of voice casting assignments which will propel our efforts into the living rooms of just about every American home.
Unlike those early days that have since gone by, the miracle of free enterprise continues to create a genre of camaraderie between millions upon millions of people.
And, a toast to our American athletes.
Here’s a special and most prodigious shout out to each and every one of our guys and gals who’ve made it to the top. We’re proud of all of you.
I can already hear the Star Spangled Banner being played. 

One Comment

  1. i think the "obamus tribunal" is still in operation, isn't it? i believe it is heralded under its present title — lame stream media…:)

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