I’ve Decided

By executive order, I hereby instruct my newly appointed Attorney General, Catherine Kalmenson, to disband the organization now known as the Internal Revenue Service with total prejudice and malice.

  • I hereby immediately dissolve the federal agency known as The Internal Revenue Service.    
  • By executive order, I hereby establish a new American Army, to function separately from our existing military.
  • Former IRS employees will man this Army.
  • Service in this new Army will be mandatory.
  • Failure by ex-IRS agents and employees to serve in said military will be punishable by forfeiture of all rights as American citizens.
  • Compensation in this new military will be based on the former IRS’ repayment of all monies squandered by said agents during the course of their governmental service.
  • All liens enacted by the IRS – on any and all personal property earned by any and all citizens during any form of legal commerce – is hereby removed and forgiven. 
  • Personal Income Tax would become a National Consumption Tax levied on all goods and services at point of purchase.

After these doctrines, established by my imperial order, have been enforced, I will tender my resignation upon the holding of a new national election.
It was good being KING – don’t you think?

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